somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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