I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
