that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize