My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
