Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize