I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
