Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
