never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
