More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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