Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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