I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize