So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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