you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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