Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
