no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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