But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
