winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
