I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
