I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
