This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
