how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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