On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
