So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
