Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
