Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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