Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Congratulations! We have a period
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