That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
