You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
