ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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