i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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