Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.