It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.