You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
