that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize