was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
