Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
