I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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