Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry nobodyyy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

Fav 8 1746 6267
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

she told me i tasted like america

Fav 31 8271 1594
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

Fav 21 1479 8142
share tweet
(979): View more from Texas

You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands

(713): View more from Texas

When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things

Fav 28 5824 1304
share tweet
(619): View more from California

When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

Fav 27 1375 7891
share tweet
(916): View more from California

So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.

Fav 9 3982 1286
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

Fav 11 2765 1264
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.

Fav 2 1659 844
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain

Fav 0 111 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT