I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
