I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
