She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?