I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"