i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
You came to the right person.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?