you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
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It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.