It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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