I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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