She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You made out with two different species that night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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