Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
