oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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