I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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