So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
