There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize