oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize