we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
