my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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