you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
