i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We need a shit load of segways right now
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
