Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
