i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize