By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
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You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize