Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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