I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
