Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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