I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Don't judge me đđź his dick just whispers my name
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type âdog twerkingâ into google search? Because I donât think you do.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
