she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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