FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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